


Ship Happens

by Booze_Hound



Category: Starbound (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3567017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Booze_Hound/pseuds/Booze_Hound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when a ruthless, intelligent Floran Noble and her vain, obscenely durable Hylotyl Parole Officer go on a road trip to deliver a blueprint of the utmost importance to the Floran Noble’s family? </p><p> </p><p>Based on my adventures on modded starbound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ship Happens

Chapter 1: They Meet.

 

The hull of the formerly Apex shuttle shuddered in the storm of light that engulfed it. Alarms blaring, the captain of this vessel, one Alodius Vindictus, a human pilot freshly graduated from the Calamere School of aerospace travel, gripped the arms of the captain’s chair he currently sat upon. On every panel, warnings flashed into existence and just as quickly passed; A.I.C.C.A, he resigned to calling her, did her job well for an experimental AI. 

But not well enough.

A fresh wave of alarms blared as a wayward chunk smashed straight into the engines. With a huff, the newly fledged pilot unbuckled his seat, and struggled into the main bay of the shuttle. Procedures honed through years of training made sure each individual item was properly fastened in the event of a crash, and this was no exception. As wave after wave of impact tore more and more armor off his ship, he strove to at least adhere to the request his employer made: Keep her alive. He glanced out the nearest window and said a quick prayer. If, he reasoned, someone truly watched over him, then they should be able to help. Managing to make it back to the captain’s seat, he told AICCA to put her remaining power into entering warp. He closed his eyes, and let the cold embrace of death as the forward hull shattered and was consumed by the falling stars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pond Scuzum was not accustomed to late nights. As the latest graduate to wash out and join her fellow failures at the distant outpost they called home, she was more used to sitting at her desk, compiling reports, and doing whatever she felt like in the meantime. But somehow, she, head of her class, winner of the “most likely to succeed” award given by her peers (which they never mentioned was just a prank upon the latest batch of uptight Hylotyl that graced their ranks) is now on the night shift, watching nearby systems for any wayward poachers or looters that may disturb it. What is the point in guarding planets? She thought; “who would dare even try? It’s not possible for an entire planet to disappe-“BZZT! BZZT! BZZT! Startled, she checked the source of the noise. Monitor three was aflame in it’s own red light, Flashing and buzzing like a maniac. The screen read: ”DANGER! GRAVITY ANOMALY DETECTED! ORBIT IN DANGER OF COLLAPSE!”. Puzzled, Pond took a closer look at the data on her screen: Where normal planets were thousands of miles wide and a great many more deep, this “planet”, according to the instruments, was nothing more than a few hundred meters wide, was significantly smaller than even the local moon, and composed completely of Iron. Puzzled, she turned off the alarm and reset her terminal. Still the same results. Turning away from the screen, she ran to contact her superior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cauliflower Monday is not a patient man, even among his Apex peers. So when he saw his newest recruit dash up to him and start pulling him bodily toward her station during his only break for the day he, for lack of a better term, went completely bananas. “SCUM?” He bellowed, making a token effort to resist. “WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD BE SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU WOULD INTERRUPT MY BANANA BREAK.” Obviously panicked, Scuzm Gestured wildly at her screen, blabbering in the incoherence of the hurried. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he quite literally shook sense back into her. Calm, Scuzm slowed down and began to explain, in depth, what happened. At the end of her tirade, Cauliflower picked up Scuzm’s station and inspected it for damage. “NOTHING SEEMS TO BE OUT OF PLACE,” he noted, his incredibly loud voice reverberating around the halls. “ ARE YOU SURE YOU-“BZZT! BZZT!” Interrupted, he tossed aside the station he held (much to the indignation of Scuzm, who went on to swear he did it on purpose), and inspected the flashing red of his station. “SCUZM!” He shouted, rallying the Hylotyl whining about her smashed terminal. “GET READY TO DEPLOY. YOU’RE LEAVING IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR.” Scuzm stared at her commanding officer. “And what of you, sir?” she asked, in the completely, obviously, fake ignorance most Hylotyl displayed when referring to the glorious culture of other species. “ME?” The Apex smiled. “I’M ON BREAK. THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM NOW. TAKE A RIFLE AND A PISTOL WITH YOU ON YOUR WAY OUT.” “But Cau! I’m a Hyloty-“ “NO BUTS!” Defeated, Pond gathered the supplies she needed, and warped to the shuttle provided to every recruit posted to this station.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AICCA, in the time between she “died” and was “revived” developed three things: One, Self-Awareness, Two, a hatred for 2000s-era sitcom comedies. and Three, issues with people and loneliness. In that half-living hell she went through, she was online and offline, alternating between the worst episodes of “The Suite Life of Cory in the Raven“(and most of the good episodes of its sister series, “Why I Dated a Wimpy Gangster”, which she will never in her immortal lifespan admit was actually liked and found pretty funny.) and the isolated, pitch blackness of her electronic case. After all, she was a AI in a floating shell. She had nothing else. She was aware that every sensor on her was broken, that the entire hull of the ship was stripped down to parts, and her original owner lay somewhere splattered on the back of that door that won’t seem to open, where the cockpit met the main bay. The ship was overgrown with vines and thorns. The only thing that she was reasonably sure about, however was that the important cargo her former master DIED protecting was-Clunk! Whrrrrr….

Safe?

Light enveloped AICCA. She felt the automatic repair module on her come online. Opening her newly restored optics, she saw a relatively young red-petaled Floran pry open the control pad and fiddle around with her reboot button. With a satisfied huff, the Floran shut the open panel and regarded the AI appearing on the screen. From a glance, the Floran was…different from most. For one, she did not seem to have the bloodlust her peers had, but in her eyes lay a cold, analytical focus, one you would expect to find in Apex Officials, Penguin Businessmen, Hylotyl Fashionistas, and Avian Priests (she neglected to mention the Glitch, but then again they ARE robots.). She wore the typical Kimono garb of a Hylotyl and a bright red scarf adorned with a simple badge of noble house.

“AI!” She shouted. “ARE YOU ACTIVE?” AIICA quickly established a link to the ship’s Tech Bay. “Yes! Who are-“ “I NEED OUR COORDONATESss NOW!”. With her personal projection blinking in surprise, she accessed her memory banks to determine their location. She relayed the information to the Floran, who rubbed her forehead in frustration. “Great. I’m light yearssss away from home.” Turning towards the confused AI, she asked ”How long do we have until our enginesss are repaired?” “Mi-milady, we require core fragments to complete our basic repairs, and we require erichius crystals to repair our FTL drive”. Nodding, the Floran walked toward the equipment locker to retrieve her basic supplies. “What can I expect on the surface?” “expect no intelligent life, the biome appears to be mostly forest, and there is an abandoned mining operation to the west of the optimal teleport location.” “Understood. One more thing:” She strolled closer with a filled tech chip, a sadistic smile on her face. “can you apply thisssss tech to me?” 

 

As the Floran teleported to the surface, oh gods, thought AICCA. She’s my cargo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Did You Like It? 

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R&R BRO

Truth be told, this is the first time i've written in YEARS.


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